All the right intentions: Moving your elderly parent into your house

 There is for some, no question that when their parents reach their twilight years and find themselves needing more than the occasional visit to ensure their safety and care is consistently maintained, that they will bring them into their own home. This may be a cultural requirement. It may be a religious or spiritual belief which is held to and observed. But it may simply be that you believe it is the right thing to do.

Regardless of the reason, it will be an adjustment for everyone concerned. Your parents have spent their entire adult lives taking care of themselves and taking care of you and now that the role is reversed it can be particularly difficult for them to relinquish the control they were formerly accustomed to having, whether that be over you or only over themselves and their own environment. They will be acutely aware that they are in your home now and they will have on their mind the way in which they raised you and what they had hoped you would learn from them by their instructions or simply by their example.

In some cases there may be a bit of senility involved which will create a few added difficulties and create a need for you to spend a great deal more time with them while they are in your home. You must learn to practice more patience than you might have initially expected when making the decision to bring them to your home.

You may have to set certain boundaries and have family discussions wherein all comprehend the nature of the home, the changes that are occurring and the adjustments that will have to be made. How much privacy will your parents have? Do they understand your privacy needs? Who will do the cooking? What cleaning chores can and should they assist with? How will their moving in affect your routine and what are your expectations of them in this new environment.

There are a great deal of challenges which may present themselves, each may be unique to your family's particular environment and needs. If times become especially challenging, there are support groups who are available to children of aged parents in order to assist you in dealing with this new development in your daily life and perhaps even just provide someone appropriate to vent to so that you are able to enjoy at home.

Whatever the circumstances may be, remember that this is temporary. Keep in mind that these are your parent's twilight years and one day they will, regardless of how difficult it may be to imagine, not be with you any longer. Do your best to enjoy your time with them now and prevent debilitating feelings of remorse from being a large part of your future life.